Yesterday was the epitome of new motherhood. We spent Christmas weekend with family, traveling to and from different houses to celebrate. By the time Monday rolled around, I was exhausted and thought I was coming down with the flu. I think I was just very tired because it never turned into anything, thankfully. But I spent 2 days just resting, not doing much and not leaving the house. Then yesterday, I got up and got ready for the day. As I finished, I went to do what is always my last step of getting ready, putting on my wedding ring. Except, my ring wasn’t there.
Since having Landon, I take it off regularly because I keep scratching him with it when he is feeding. It is always in 1 of 3 places, (so responsible, I know) next to my bathroom sink, on my nightstand or on the coffee table in the living room. I checked each of those spots…no ring. Then, I thought, I must have taken it off on our way home from Eastern Washington and put it in the diaper bag. Nope, no ring.
I spent the entire day searching the entire house, retracing my steps, panicking, being so hard on myself for how messy my house was (as if that was the reason I couldn’t find the ring), and all in between feeding and taking care of Landon. By the end of the day I was stressed, panicked and exhausted all over again. I had taken apart my bathroom sink after looking down the drain and convincing myself that I could see the ring down there. I called my mom panicking, thinking I had left it there when I put lotion on my hands. She even searched her entire house, including taking apart the bathroom and kitchen sink drains!
Then my husband came home from work and I burst into tears as I asked him not to be mad at me and told him what happened. Of course he wasn’t mad. He searched for a bit but found nothing.
All that was running through my head at this point was what a bad mom and wife I am. How disorganized my life had become. How I couldn’t get anything accomplished that I needed to on any given day. Obviously I was overreacting a bit, but I was so mad at myself for losing something so valuable. I decided to give up for the night and try again the next day, with a clear head, to search each room in the house very slowly and from top to bottom.
This morning, for some reason, I decided to search the diaper bag for at least the 4th or 5th time. Guess what I found. Yep. In the side pocket. That I checked each time before! WTH!?!? I was seriously ecstatic to find it. And then I started thinking about all the things that had run through my head the day before. Why am I so hard on myself? Why am I so critical of my shortcomings? I am not a bad mom or a bad wife because the dishes or laundry aren’t done.
Being a new mom has been quite an adjustment. The biggest being the lack of time I have to do all the things I used to do. I’m getting used to it and slowly adjusting but every once in a while, I need to stop and remind myself and I’m doing a good job as long as my little boy is safe, happy and healthy.
Anyway! On to the top posts of 2016! I love that these are the top 5 because I LOVE every single one of them! One thing I learned while looking into this post…I didn’t post a lot in 2016, I think baby prep took over most of my time 🙂
Click the links to check out the original posts and here’s to 2017, not being so hard on ourselves and enjoying the little things!